Whistle installer

The summer season is upon us again. Last month, in order to avoid the impending mad rush and chaos when schools are out for summer, I took a long weekend break to Spain with my partner Smaranda. As I sat on my budget airline seat whilst the plane taxied to the runway, in a pleasant gin and tonic haze following a rushed journey through the departure lounge Wetherspoons, my eyes came to rest on the safety instructions printed on the seat in front of me.

The instructions were all very helpful on what to do in the event of an emergency. In the diagrams it showed a passenger putting on a life jacket, inflating it and blowing a whistle to attract attention. This set me thinking….

It has previously been said that the most pointless job in the world is the man in the factory who installs indicator lights on BMW cars. Well, a close competitor to this accolade would have to be the person who puts the whistles on life jackets. Air travel has now become so safe that the risk that your plane will crash is currently 1 in 1.2 million. And even in the remote event that your plane does indeed crash, and assuming the plane lands on water and you survive to be able to put on a life jacket and exit the aircraft intact, I am not convinced that the presence of a whistle to attract attention is going to significantly change the odds of your survival as you bob around in the water.

Someone has obviously done a cost benefit analysis of installing life jackets with whistles on all commercial aircraft and deemed it to be worthwhile, but spare a thought for the life jacket whistle installer.